[His laugh is sudden, slightly weak, and takes him by surprise -] Fuck you for making me laugh when I'm having a meltdown, [he says, and squeezes Eddie's hand. he wants to kiss him; the possibility of it is just hanging there, in this fucking limbo, and -

and instead he pulls Eddie in for an embrace, presses his nose to his hair and squeezes. indulges. ] If he says no, it's - it's fine. I'm a big boy. But promise me we'll be good.