ic inbox.

[heatmetal]

[ his voicemail greeting is just a guitar riff ]

Comments

[retromix]

If a whale falls on us? I'll summon the best umbrella you've ever seen. We'll be totally safe.

[ Such confidence! ]

[heatmetal]

Holding you to it.

[ pressed a kiss to his cheek. ]

My big bad hero.

[retromix]

[ If he could smile any brighter his face would be a torch, nuzzling long curls and talking nonsense all the way to the car. In the SUV he taps the fancy music station, leering a look at Eddie. ]

I loaded it with some of your bands' albums. Do not pick something too distracting while I'm driving.

[heatmetal]

[ those big brown eyes go OH so wide. ]

You are hands down the best thing that's ever happened to me. [ and then... Picks the tamest song he can find to ensure no accidents happen. ]

[retromix]

Might turn out to be a decent boyfriend for once, stranger things have happened.

[ Time to drive the prince of metal to a parking lot with the weirdest pile of shit in the centre, all of it piled up high. Flowers have been blown in all directions: looks like someone was feeling guilty as shit and accidentally raided half the gardens in the suburbs of their roses. Other things consist of: a bunch of metal albums, swords, axes, armour that looks medieval as hell, and a closet. ]

Stay close to the car so we can make a run for it if the bats come back.

[heatmetal]

[ yes, hello. Doedhe get to pick all this scrap up. Eddie grabs a rose as it breezez by, glancing st Steve with a broad grin.

Look at all these treasures you left for this little date.

[retromix]

[ His cheeks are so red. ]

You think that's funny, huh? Wiseguy?

[ He picks up a rosebud and aims for Eddie's shoulder. ]

[heatmetal]

I think... I'm the luckiest man alive, is what I think.

[ Eddie mimes kissing the petals and then tosses it back ]

[retromix]

[ The rosebud pings off Steve's flaming cheek. ]

Can you do your fairy Disney princess thing already, please?

[heatmetal]

[ yeah yeah. Eddie turns his attention from his blushing boyfriend and just holds out a hand. ]

UH... Pigeon!

[ nothing happens. ]

[retromix]

Incredible.

[ Leaning an arm on the door of the car as he watches. ]

Try something smaller.

[heatmetal]

Like what? Cockroaches?

[ he rests a hand on his hip, looking Steve up and down. ]

[retromix]

[ What's that look for, Mister Sassypants. ]

I don't know, dude. Rats? Mice? Something that could be nearby on the ground and won't scare you if they come charging. Maybe you have to send your thoughts to them?

[heatmetal]

I'm worried about scaring you, sweetheart.

[ sending his thoughts... He turns back to then lot, keeps his hand held out, and tried to do just that. ]

[retromix]

I'm scared of very little beyond double VHS nights.

[ True horror!!! Also a lie. He watches in interest, eyeing the parking lot around them. ]

[heatmetal]

Maybe that should be your safeword, then.

[ his eyes are shut. And he's...

Not getting rats. Or pigeons. Or bats.

But there are a few black cats starting to slink out of the shadows. ]

[retromix]

[ Rolling his eyes, he catches sight of the cats. Black cats. Normal-looking but he straightens up anyway. ]

Are you sure you're not a witch now or something?

[heatmetal]

[ uhhh.

Yeah. Those sure are cats. They look warily at Steve, but like the bats, they approach Eddie like he's an old friend.

He carefully lowers himself to the ground to pet them.

You guys are pretty hungry, huh?

[retromix]

They don't have rabies, do they?

[ Rabies is just a thing now. Thanks, Robin. ]

[heatmetal]

No, man. A bunch of sad little city cats don't have rabies.

[ but they could have other things. ]

They're askin' if we got food or water. Hungry little guys.

[retromix]

You're really talking to them?

[ An uhhhh cat food? is murmured and tins, with an opener, fall out of the air as he waves his hand. Damn, that's loud. ]

[heatmetal]

I think so?

[ the cats startle and move to run until Eddie holds out a hand, murmuring something soothing. ]

[retromix]

... This is some trippy shit, serious Mary Poppins or something vibe.

[ Steve starts opening some cans as he crouches down, sliding them over as he keeps a wary eye on the cats. Never know when danger might strike. ]

[heatmetal]

[ prepare to get swarmed by hungry howling babies. They go right for the cans OM NOM NOMING their way through ]

So... Mary Poppins but make it metal.

[retromix]

[ jESUS CHRIST, Steve stands up to open the last few cans and drops them hastily, backing off. ]

Are kitty cats metal?