ic inbox.

[heatmetal]

[ his voicemail greeting is just a guitar riff ]

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[retromix]

[ Freaking called it, he's a prophet. Steve summons a cat carrier in the car. ]

Alright, both of you back in the car.

[heatmetal]

[ he bids farewell to his adoring public, keeping the grubby kitten with him as he stands and makes his way to the van.

He might be pretty when he gets cleaned up. His temperament is sweet, judging by the only reaction to being held out for inspection being a mindless purr. ]

Say hi to your new kid, Stevie.

[retromix]

Another one to start up a college fund for.

[ He nods to the carrier pointedly. ]

In there, please, while in the car. We'll go find a vet, that's gonna be a good idea if it's been living on the streets.

[heatmetal]

You're about to regret everything, lil man.

[ Eddie obliges and the kitten immediately makes his displeasure known. At least until he drops the carrier on his lap. ]

[retromix]

[ Steve's gaze slides to the road as he starts the car. Looks like a day of vet bills and kitty baths are ahead, with no idea if they can even keep it in the hotel. Lots of lying is in the cards to the poor Diadem staff. ]

What's little Hellfire's name gonna be?

[heatmetal]

You know it's gotta be Henderson. If he turns up here and we haven't made it abundantly clear he's still number one, he'll throw a fit.

[ he sticks his fingers through the cage. ]

Might soften the whole 'by the way we're dating' blow.

[retromix]

[ We're dating. A smile flits over Steve's features. ]

He won't care beyond finding any excuse to have us in the same room and playing DND.

[heatmetal]

He'll be mortally offended any time we're hanging out without him.

[ buuuut ]

You will be obligated to join Hellfire.

[retromix]

Nope, not playing.

[ Steve eyes him in the mirror as he drives. ]

Listen, there's not a lot I wouldn't do for you but sitting down at a table for hours and rolling dice for fun does not appeal.

[heatmetal]

Have those little shits seriously not explained the game to you in all these years?

[retromix]

Uh huh, I'm selectively deaf.

[ He rolls down his window and ruffles his hair, enjoying the fresh breeze. ]

Look, I love you but no. [ Whoa, hold on, ] Y'know? Like, yeah, I ... I just don't wanna play.

[ Jesus sweet Christ. ]

[heatmetal]

[ uuhhh.

Eddies suddenly going Red, worrying his teeth between his lips to try to suppress the smile. ]

I'm just saying, Stevie. It's all the shit you clearly love about fighting monsters with none of the actual mortal peril.

[retromix]

Mortal peril's my favorite part!

[ HAHA. Ha. ]

[heatmetal]

It absolutely is not.

[ his smile spreads slowly
]

Protecting the people you love is.

[retromix]

Alright, things are getting a little schmoopy in here. I'm putting it down to the ball of fur and fleas in your lap.

[ He gives the carrier a look. ]

Is he asleep?

[heatmetal]

You sure it's not your big bleeding heart?

[ hee hee ]

Yeah. He came a long way to find a home.

[retromix]

[ Not even gonna respond to the first bit! ]

Let's get him checked out, find some food, and hole up for the night. What do you say?

[heatmetal]

Sounds good to me.

[ he glanced down at the sleeping cat. ]

Pretty sure you just cost me a bunch of nerd shit, buddy.

[retromix]

He's a tiny little guy. [ Glancing over because now he cares about a dumb cat, darn it. ] Is he looking a little emaciated to you? I heard somewhere you have to feed sick animals in small amounts, we should try that after the vet's checked him out.

[heatmetal]

Scrawny but not deaths door scrawny. [ he's got a finger through the bars, petting his snoot. ] Probably full of worms and shit. Can't imagine the water around here is clean.

[ he's pretty sure this cat is going to be his familiar. ]

[retromix]

Eugh. [ Speeding a little faster: he doesn't want a cat with worms inside it, gotta fix that. ] Does this mean Hargrove gets to be the fun uncle? His every goal in life will be checked off his list.

[heatmetal]

Hargrove is the uncle we adore who is absolutely not allowed to babysit unsupervised. Leave them alone for five minutes and they'll be on the run from the law.

[retromix]

[ God, he barks out a laugh at that because it's so true. ]

I've only been on the run from Russians, my experience is limited.

[heatmetal]

Right? Me, I'm just as bad as Hargrove - but I know how to outrun pigs.

[ he links for good measure. ]

[retromix]

And how to almost starve in the process, sure. Very metal, sweetheart.

[ This faux-impressed pout! ]