Can't say I really did, either.... least not the way the church spun it.
[ granted he'd only ever been to a church a few times. wayne wasn't the religious sort, and his father had never believed in anything that wasn't himself. ]
The town's a tarpit. [ he agrees. ] If it doesn't kill you, it just traps you until something else does...
[ and here? they're free. to be themselves. to love whoever they want to. it's... it's hard. and for some ineffable reason he wants to go back. for the kids. for his uncle. but there's no denying his future is brighter here than home. ]
[He hums, low. Dreams that are a little impossible now and then. He isn't sure he would have done well in college, but he knows he would have tried. Tried so fucking hard if it meant getting out from under Neil's thumb. ]
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[the divorce. the coma. his face does a thing: pinched and visible guilt twisting up his mouth. ]
She’s stubborn. Not surprised.
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[ genuinely good. he wiggles henderson the cat, bumps his nose lightly to the kitten's. ]
Way too cool to hang out with my little misfits, that's for sure.
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[ hmmmm. ] She’s just a kid, Eddie. They’re just - kids.
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It's fucked.
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[softly, thoughtful.] Full ride. Just needed money for the gas. I would’ve been free in two months.
[he hasn’t told anyone this. ] But I decided I was gonna fuck Karen Wheeler and well, the rest is history. Karma, probably.
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that's a lot in a handful of sentences. stumbling right at the finish line. same as eddie had. he pressesl his lips together. ]
What happened to you wasn't karma, man. The town's cursed by a man who hates the world almost as much as he hates himself.
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[a beat. ] Don’t tell Harrington about Mrs Wheeler.
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[ that's friendship. and he knows how to keep his mouth shut, unlike steve. ]
... you know how I died. You think that was karma too?
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[ he sets the kitten back on the bed. ]
And neither were you. What happened to us - that wasn't karma, or comeuppance, or whatever... it was just tragedy.
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[ and now ? ] I guess this is - it’s decent payoff. Us. Harrington.
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[ ... ]
Still not convinced this isn't some kinda fucked up afterlife.
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[ granted he'd only ever been to a church a few times. wayne wasn't the religious sort, and his father had never believed in anything that wasn't himself. ]
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[he means got a little too close with anyone not fitting Neil's perfect little all American image. ]
I kind of thought I'd just stop. Used to be comforting.
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eddie can't say he doesn't get it. ]
I spent a really long time wanting to just disappear. [ an uncertain pause. ] And then when it was actually happening, all I wanted was more time.
I'm glad we both got more time. Here. Together.
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Yeah. Me too. I think Hawkins might've killed us in the end, anyway. Sucked out all the shit that makes us us, in the end.
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[ and here? they're free. to be themselves. to love whoever they want to. it's... it's hard. and for some ineffable reason he wants to go back. for the kids. for his uncle. but there's no denying his future is brighter here than home. ]
What were you gonna study? At school, I mean.
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[He hums, low. Dreams that are a little impossible now and then. He isn't sure he would have done well in college, but he knows he would have tried. Tried so fucking hard if it meant getting out from under Neil's thumb. ]
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[ the politics don't surprise him. ]
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You've read Narnia? Mmm... Guess that is required reading for every closeted guy.
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