ic inbox.

[heatmetal]

[ his voicemail greeting is just a guitar riff ]

Comments

[camarod]

[it's such a weird feeling to desperately want to hear someone volunteer something and feel his insides recoil at the thought, simultaneously. he's just not sure he can keep that clinical distance, is the thing. that if he got himself off with eddie that close, watching, directing, that it might just become a little too real. a little too genuine.

he chews the inside of his cheek, pretends he's mulling it over. angles. ] I got those new cameras anyway - should be easy to edit that shit together.

[he hums, thoughtful. ] Can you drop the wings off? I gotta do a test run.

[heatmetal]

Yeah, no problem. You'll probably wanna test the fit on the rest of this too.

[camarod]

I owe you big time, E. Name it.

[heatmetal]

You're literally buying us a house, dude, I think you're in the clear.

[camarod]

[there’s a visible little pinch in his brow; a hesitation.]

Yeah, uh - [he mentioned a house isn’t the same as he said we should all live together.]

[heatmetal]

[ hmm.

He can make an educated guess what that expression is about. ]

Just hold on to how much you adore me, and remember this feeling when you have to pick up the random junk I'll be leaving around the house.

[camarod]

I don’t owe you that much.

[okay. okay. ] ‘Sides, I never said I was moving in.

[heatmetal]

Dude, come on. You're not gonna buy a whole house, chafing your dick in the process and maybe busting your asshole on a dragon dick, and not move in.

[camarod]

Dude, between you two going at it like you’ll never get laid again and me doing softcore in the next room, our neighbours are gonna think we’re freaks.

[ALSO - ]

And don’t talk about my dragon dick like that. He’s a gentleman.

[heatmetal]

I am a freak. And you and Steve are willingly keeping my company, ergo, you are also freaks.

[ tutting. ]

Gentleman won't leave you wrecked like he will.

[camarod]

Debauched freaks. The noise complaints, dude. Think of the noise complaints.

[sometimes he’s loud okay! and maybe he’s a little self conscious of that!! ]

Whatever. It’s a consensual wrecking. An all day wrecking, if you will.

[heatmetal]

Then they can be jealous they're not getting it as good as anybody in our little freak castle.

[ he grins. ]

Gonna take all day to work up to that.

[camarod]

Jesus. Speak for yourself.

[rip to his sex life] And listen, that’s the best part.

[heatmetal]

Not gonna deny that.

[ on either count. ]

[camarod]

Fuck the house, I’ll spend 700K on lube and advil.

[heatmetal]

Now why would you do a thing like that? Lube companies are gonna be lining up to have you pimp their products.

[camarod]

With twenty four hours and six bottles, you too can fit a whole dragon dick up your ass - [he’s cracking up a little.]

[heatmetal]

Only six?

[camarod]

I make every drop count, you waster.

[heatmetal]

And this is why you're the breadwinner.

[camarod]

Look at me, a real man with the fat bank account and two freeloaders who don’t put out. My dad would be so proud.

[he is, alas, still Billy]

[heatmetal]

It's the life my old man dreamed for me. Minus the constant felonies.

[camarod]

Look at us, a real couple of chips off the old block.

[ha!! ]

Anyway, I should keep this place for work. I don’t think I can handle Steve finding a sex toy and asking questions.

[heatmetal]

[ okay, that gets a full cackle. He tries to imagine it. ]

Good idea. It'll be a lot less to explain if the kids show up, too.

[camarod]

We’d need a bigger goddamn house.

[a full on mcmansion -]

Eddie, Eddie stop. Think of my poor dick. Don’t jinx this.